Social media is a hard one especially in the world we live in, I cant tell you the number of times I would check on what my ex was doing.... even through mutual friends who would tag him in things (he didn't post much).
These things can be debilitating especially as you comes to terms with what has just happened. I didn't want to to be removed from social media completely so I made the apps work for me by finding accounts that made me laugh all day long (haha accounts), reflect on what I had been through (ahh accounts) and give me hope (aww accounts) in this crazy life we all live. I only have Insta and FB so if there are others from tik tok / twitter etc let me know and happy to add them in!
Turned off all Notifications - except for my text messages and it meant I controlled when I saw then, I still check alot but at least I choose when to be distracted.
Set 10 min screen time app limits across all accounts to make sure I dont go down rabbit holes (under settings, screen time)
Deleted ex after a month or so (earlier is advisable but again its up to you)
Deleted/ restricted access to his friends and family as I knew how much it was impacting plus I didn't want them to share what I was doing (not much but still)
Used this opportunity to cleanse my social media friends in general, on who to keep and who can view what, after my divorce the traditional constructs were out the door and I was navigating the divorce label whilst grieving loss.
Deleted/restricted accounts that would trigger me - e.g. people who post too many happy relationship or family things, it wasn't helping me on my recovery.
Started following funny accounts, I use humour as a coping mechanism so found the accounts below made me laugh at my misery which I much prefer then to spend most of my day dwelling in it.
Started following accounts that made me reflect on what I had been through, I am personally into research and understanding myself and the world better based on data.
What I also learnt much later on, is that social media (for me insta) was the social passport for dating! I personally share a bit on my accounts so I give people my number instead. So about 4-5 months on I archived the photos of my ex, which was very painful.
Another tricky one is what to do with friends and family who still keep them on their socials...each to their own on this, I had asked family to remove him. Friends asked if they could still keep him which I didn't personally mind and its our issues is not theirs. I have to manage my own mind - all fun and games!.
There are so many incredible accounts that have kept me going! below is pretty much everything in 3 buckets - what makes me laugh (haha), reflect (ahh) and give me hope (aww). I would say follow all these accounts but here is my absolute fav top 10
Humour is incredibly humbling and powerful for change and getting out of the victim mentality. I am including a number of buckets but its relatable to everyone - and its one of the best ways to learn about another's world ;) ALSO memes rock!
Humour for all!
Humour is incredibly humbling and powerful for change and getting out of the victim mentality. I am including a number of buckets but its relatable to everyone - and its one of the best ways to learn about another's world ;) ALSO memes rock!
Humour for all!
Comedians
Queers & Drama queens (me)
For the Ladies (Queens)
Work/Corporate Life
Comics
There are some great accounts on understanding the mind, trauma, self and how others work. Also spent time reflecting on my own bias/ acceptance gender roles.
Relationship Focused
Psychother
There are some great accounts on understanding the mind, trauma, self and how others work. Also spent time reflecting on my own bias/ acceptance gender roles.
Relationship Focused
Psychotherapists - Trauma / healing
Other interesting learnings
Feminine Empowerment
These are the kind of accounts that give me hope for change and give my mind a break; including puppies, activism, good new stories.
New stories!
These are the kind of accounts that give me hope for change and give my mind a break; including puppies, activism, good new stories.
New stories!
Activism / thoughts
Art
Animals
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